City

Local businesses we’d change our name for in exchange for freebies

In the midst of the Subway name change offer, we want to know: What businesses in Columbus, Ohio would you change your name for?

By Mitch Hooper, Emily Shea-Owen
, August 2, 2023
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Would you change your name for a lifetime supply of Late Night Slice? | Photo by @latenightslice

In a world filled with artificial intelligence and self-driving cars, somehow a story about Subway is taking the internet by storm.

Currently, the national sandwich chain has a simple, yet life alternating offer for its super fans: If you legally change your name to “Subway,” the restaurant will give you free sandwiches for life (or the sub equivalent of $50,000). That has us thinking — if a name change got you a lifetime of freebies at a local restaurant, what would you pick ? Here are our choices:

Dirty Frank’s Hot Dog Palace

Whether you’re more Frank Sinatra, or Frank Ocean, it’s a small name change for a big pay out with these hot dogs.

Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams

Jeni, Jen, J — it’s all the same to us if it ends with a free pint of Brambleberry Crisp.

Mikey’s Late Night Slice

City Editor Mitch is already close enough, what’s a few consonant changes?

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Mitch Hooper
Mitch is based in Columbus, OH and has won multiple Associated Press awards for his writing. He holds a Bachelor’s degree in journalism from the Ohio State University, and is always down for a cup of coffee.